Odd Thing
I was suprised to get a Message the other day. I was asked why my blog is so pessemistic when in person im more of a cynical optomist..
It's kind of a good question. I think I just write the blog when im going through a rough patch or I need to vent.
Hence the large gaps in the posting schedules..:) I generally don't post when i'm happy and well adjusted. So It's probably a bit misleading. A blog reader will think im this bitter individual, when im not. It just seems that was because of all the negativity in the blog..
I still find it hard to believe my blog gets as many hits as it does, on a daily basis. Just really strange to think about it. I know there's link in Bebo and Facebook pages as well as a link from my homepage.
I wonder how many people read it and actually know me. I try not to think about that. Soon as you start thinking people you know will read it you start self editing. Im trying not to but everynow and again I have some anxiety about it.
Couple of things, Firstly Ive applied for a new job at the university. Bottom of the new job is a 5 grand payrise, Which would be nice. Im pretty sure Id be good at it, even though it's a little bit of a departure from what im currently doing. But it is more of a face to face helping rather than technical only which can only be good. Not like it's a customer facing complaint generating thing like BK or a Helpdesk.
Secondly, My Forced sociability is coming along really well. In a nutshell, since I find it really difficult to speak to new people Ive been forcing myself to make small talk. And it's showing suprising results, at least it's a lot better than I had hoped. I know it's a lot like I used to be before I started worrying about others preconceptions. That in itself can be traced back to an unhealthy relationship I was in, but no matter. Let the past go..:)
See? I am learning. Just take me a while..:)
Couple that with a couple of external guided discoveries about my mindset I feel like im getting back on track.
I mean, Look at that, external criticisim actually guiding self examination.. Without automatic denial or becoming emotionally distraught. Progress indeed..:)
Now the only thing remaining, is abandoning this relentless self examination and 2nd guessing while keeping the good parts...
Hell if anybody could do it there wouldn't be any challenge..
I think probably one of the biggest factors in recent times was when My Brothers wife gave me a call. They were writing out their wills. They had discussed it and they wanted me to act as guardian/next of kin if something happened to both of them. My brother and I have had a seemingly indifference/hate relationship over the years. But knowing he felt that I was the best person to bring up his kids if something happen to them had a really steadying effect.
Somebody must think i'm doing alright..:)
Player One out.
It's kind of a good question. I think I just write the blog when im going through a rough patch or I need to vent.
Hence the large gaps in the posting schedules..:) I generally don't post when i'm happy and well adjusted. So It's probably a bit misleading. A blog reader will think im this bitter individual, when im not. It just seems that was because of all the negativity in the blog..
I still find it hard to believe my blog gets as many hits as it does, on a daily basis. Just really strange to think about it. I know there's link in Bebo and Facebook pages as well as a link from my homepage.
I wonder how many people read it and actually know me. I try not to think about that. Soon as you start thinking people you know will read it you start self editing. Im trying not to but everynow and again I have some anxiety about it.
Couple of things, Firstly Ive applied for a new job at the university. Bottom of the new job is a 5 grand payrise, Which would be nice. Im pretty sure Id be good at it, even though it's a little bit of a departure from what im currently doing. But it is more of a face to face helping rather than technical only which can only be good. Not like it's a customer facing complaint generating thing like BK or a Helpdesk.
Secondly, My Forced sociability is coming along really well. In a nutshell, since I find it really difficult to speak to new people Ive been forcing myself to make small talk. And it's showing suprising results, at least it's a lot better than I had hoped. I know it's a lot like I used to be before I started worrying about others preconceptions. That in itself can be traced back to an unhealthy relationship I was in, but no matter. Let the past go..:)
See? I am learning. Just take me a while..:)
Couple that with a couple of external guided discoveries about my mindset I feel like im getting back on track.
I mean, Look at that, external criticisim actually guiding self examination.. Without automatic denial or becoming emotionally distraught. Progress indeed..:)
Now the only thing remaining, is abandoning this relentless self examination and 2nd guessing while keeping the good parts...
Hell if anybody could do it there wouldn't be any challenge..
I think probably one of the biggest factors in recent times was when My Brothers wife gave me a call. They were writing out their wills. They had discussed it and they wanted me to act as guardian/next of kin if something happened to both of them. My brother and I have had a seemingly indifference/hate relationship over the years. But knowing he felt that I was the best person to bring up his kids if something happen to them had a really steadying effect.
Somebody must think i'm doing alright..:)
Player One out.